Rains of Truth

Rainy overcast morning, cup of hot tea, all cozied up in grandma's quilt with my babe by my side. Let's share stories!

Holy Spirit, lead me on how to be open today.

The last year has been almost a sensory overload for me, spiritually. I've seen, heard, felt, tasted too many new experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. I didn't realize that I wasn't one who could take in information quickly. I need time to let it all steep, to sort through and digest it. When I receive a revelation from the Lord (and there has been too many to count this year), it needs to simmer there for a bit before it sincerely soaks into my soul. What it used to feel like is when we get a terribly fast and heavy rainfall. The rain doesn't truly soak into the ground, it just runs into the sewer drain because it's coming so quickly and in such great volume. There is nowhere for the new rain to go as the previous drops are still soaking in. The ground doesn't absorb all it could like if it was a steady, lingering rain shower. You've watered flowers before and watched the water slowly sink into the thirsty soil. The same is true with my soul.

I still struggle with being like that, because I struggle with grace.

The grace of the Lord says to me, "If it takes you a while to process, to understand and start living it out, I will still be here. The truth will still be here. I am able to redeem any time that may have been lost between the knowledge of truth (revelation) and the belief of it (living it out)." Guys, God is the giver of gifts. He loves loves loooooooooves to see us thrive in His Truth and His Grace. He's going to make sure we get it and believe it. The source of every good thing is I-N-F-I-N-I-T-E. Does that not blow your mind? It does mine. I usually forget this, too (more grace, Lord). He never runs out, and He wants to and will keep giving. He wants us to know Him.

The lie I believe says, "If you don't figure it out quickly, if you don't believe quickly, if you don't act swiftly (even if you don't truly believe), the revelation, the gift, the time, will all be lost. It will be revoked and the opportunity will not come again." You can imagine the anxiety that is coupled with believing this. I'll never measure up. My life will be in shambles. The goodness of the Lord is nowhere near, it has left me alone. It reeks of the enemy, as he comes to steal and destroy.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights..." - James 1:17

Do I wish that revelation would stick faster with me? Absolutely. I'd love the turn around time between revelation and living it out to be instant. I believe it will get quicker, I believe that's the Lord's will for us all. But until then, I'm walking with the Lord, growing in grace and repentance (which is such a beautiful word, abused by many, myself included until recently). This journey, this walk I'm on with Him is making my soul more porous, so when the rains of truth come, my heart will quickly soak up even more than it did before.

More grace, Lord.